I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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