Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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