So drunk, too bad you don't want this
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
