well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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