grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
