i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
