Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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