The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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