Dual....:-)
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
ok first of all what the fuck
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