It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
