**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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