how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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