Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
