oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
