I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
