You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
this hospital has no fireball
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
