I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
