Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
