Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
