She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
