is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
