you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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