Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
