the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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