Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
