guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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