Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
