Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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