I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
