I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
