he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Randomize
