Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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