i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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