I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
