nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
