i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
