This is not my ceiling
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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