I'm gonna have a badass scar
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
