I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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