Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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