I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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