my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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