You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
