all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Send help, water and tortillas.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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