my mouth tastes like poor choices
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
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I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
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Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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