It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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