Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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