matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
