why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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