I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
