That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
