Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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