the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
