i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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