I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
