if you like me you must not know who I am
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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