You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
