my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
