Got a toothbrush?
just tell him i said nine months
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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