One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
