my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Randomize
