marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
