just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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