No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
