hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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