Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize