I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
